Tuesday, June 12, 2012

My Sleep Number is $$$

I greatly regret getting a Sleep Number bed seven years ago.  Really, it doesn't take a rocket surgeon to figure out that your mattress should not become susceptible to mechanical failure.  But we had good reasoning:

1. In the coming years I was going to be getting pregnant and women get uncomfortable sleeping during pregnancy.  I was never uncomfortable during pregnancy and slept just fine.  It isn't hard to adjust when you only gain 17 pounds.  I've gained more on during a trip to CiCi's Pizza.

2. We could each adjust the bed to what was comfortable for us without having to compromise.  Um, both our sleep numbers are 30.  No compromise there.

3. Brad had bad back discs.  Reduced pressure points would ease his pain.  Still lots of pain.  Actually, worse now.  And I have ruptured discs too now.  Money well spent, don't you think?

Add to these inconvenient truths the fact that the thing is noisy as hell and the tubes rub the paint off the wall and we aren't all that pleased.  Now the sides have started to bulge because the foam is wearing out and I've recently started rolling to a saggy part in the middle.  This makes my back hurt worse causing me to cradle a body pillow in front of me and put another pillow under my back like a wheel chock to keep from rolling into the pit.  Brad accuses me of building a "fortress" around myself so he can't touch me.

Enough was enough today when I woke up with a sore back from rolling into the hammock.  While Claire zoned out to Doc McStuffins, I ripped the covers off and unzipped the mattress to examine its grotesque inner-workings.  The foam was torn in the middle and on the sides, foam was coming apart, but I couldn't see any gap between the chambers.  I sweated and pushed and shoved and zipped everything back up.  With no improvement.  I still felt like a Plinko chip destined for the $10,000 spot.

A spent and hour chatting with the kind folks at Sleep Number who basically told me that if I sleep alone, I'll roll.  But, dear call center employee, I said it happens when I sleep with my partner.  OOoooh, well he must be heavier (nope).  You need a chamber lift $$ (don't think so).  I also need a new foam cover $$$ to replace the torn one.  And those pesky bulging sides need to be fixed to keep everything centered $$$.  With shipping and tax, we come to about $250.  Zoinks.

Well, hello Google & chat boards.  Nice to meet you.  Seems this saggy middle thing is REALLY common with Sleep Number beds as they age.  People kept saying they just needed a stronger piece of foam between the two chambers for support.  It was a manufacturing quality issue.  So where does one get a piece of high density foam?  After some good pondering.... Walmart...$2.

That is your garden variety pool noodle stuffed between the chambers.  I'm a genius I tell you.

So it isn't a 100% fix, but it will limp it along until we can save up the cash to buy a mattress that doesn't require pool noodles to work properly.  Plus, I'm assured of one more barrier between me and my husband.