Katie Couric Has Nothing On This Guy with Jacked Up Teeth

I am so easily irritated.

I'm currently irritated by a number of things:

1. There is grass growing in my pool -- like THROUGH the liner. Freakin' nut grass. I hate nuts. That is why I had my husband fixed this weekend. (Ok, little hehe there.)

2. My eyes are dry and itchy.

3. My house is a mess and I have a friend coming over Tuesday to see this baby ravaged place.

4. My lawnmower is broken and I have knee high crab grass.

5. American media is the reason for all heart disease in America.

Let me explain #5. Heart disease is caused primarily by stress (and a little heredity). Stress is caused by panic. Panic is to the American media as Coke is to Robbie the Cokehead. Therefore, the media is causing the degeneration of my heart.

I opened my yahoo mainpage to see the main story is that North Korea has big nukes pointed at the US and Kim Jong Ill is pissed at America. Suddenly, I picture my family in a bunker eating spam and Twinkies for the next 8 years. (Ironically, the eternal Twinkies is a myth. I had a moldy one in my pantry last week.)

Having been living off DVR'ed re-runs of TLC for the past 18 hours, I suddenly wonder is America under attack, and I know nothing about it? I call myself and remember the recent media warnings: bird flu, africanized honey bees, killer tomatoes, pig flu, mad cow, killer peanut butter and how American media will put anything on to get ratings.

American media - even the evening news and CNN now - pump their shows full of hype. Panic inducing gore, lore, and more and common place. It isn't weird to see OctoMom or Paris Hilton on CNN. True world news is short and hidden among the homosexual escapades of married senators, Deal or Dud tests on As Seen On TV gadgets, and personal pieces on the 101 year old newspaper boy. And that is when you aren't being forced to hear what is coming up next as they tell you over and over and over what they are about to tell you. Egad!

So I head to my favorite news website and similarly favorite news show. www.bbc.com/news That is right. I have to go across the ocean to find out what is going on in my country. On BBC America, the Brits tell me, in boring, but intelligent and thorough and non-hype filled language what is going on. I love it. Their non-partisan viewpoint is refreshing and the reporters don't have on the typical "America is Better Than Everyone Else" blinders on. And don't get me wrong. I love America, but I don't think we are better than everyone else across the board in everything. That is just egotistical.

And what did I learn about North Korea? Nothing. BBC had nothing to report about anything funky going on in North Korea that hasn't been going on for the last 10 years. So I relax. Until I see something about swine flu.