Why I ripped my clothes off on the last day of school.

Last day of school! Woohoo! It is enough to make you rip off your shirt and run through the front yard.

After the last day today, I jumped in my car and headed across the street to pick up Bean. Just as I pulled into their driveway, I felt a little electric shock. You know how your muscles can do that sometimes or a tag pinches and you have to rub it out? As I reach back to rub, I feel a burn and it starts moving up my shirt. Something is moving and burning like an electric eel is in my car seat. I start screaming "Hheeeeellp! Ooooaaahhhooo! I need help! Aaahhhhahha!" It was really quite pathetic. And start scrambling out of my car.....before I put it in park and come to a complete stop.

One leg out the door, I realize I'm still moving and headed into the rear end of the baby sitter's SUV. Another string of expletives, and I get it in park and jump from the vehicle, engine running, dancing across their lawn pulling my shirt up (and seriously considering removing it) and shaking my hair out. I'm sure the neighbors, who all have kids at my school, are thinking, "Man, that teacher sure is excited about summer break!"

As my dance came to a climax, I saw something fly over my car. I'm assuming a bee, but it could have been a komodo dragon for all the pain and panic. And damn! I thought a bee could only sting once. That is a damned lie! I banged on the sitter's door and when she opened I screamed, "I have to use your bathroom! Bees!!!!" Once inside I removed my shirt and looked at my three small, single puncture wounds. At least it didn't look like a snake. I also had to remove my bra on the way home because the pressure was painful on my back.

With only a modicum of sympathy from my husband (who swears his on his foot when he was five was worse), I resorted to calling my mom for support, but she isn't home. So I'm stuck with 5" diameter whelps coated in hydrocortizone because I'm allergic to Benadryl... and no the irony doesn't escape me.

I think I'm going to have to sleep on my stomach tonight and I may need a pain pill.